Cancelling plans doesnt make you a bad friend, it’s self care. Here’s why JOMO (the joy of missing out) might just be the reset button your soul needs.
Why do introverts cancel plans?
Look, I have to be honest. For as long as I can remember, I’ve cancelled noticeably more plans than the average person. I’ve made peace with it. If my friends are reading this, I’m sorry (sort of). But please know, it was never personal. I just love the idea of plans so much more than actually doing them. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love a good catch-up with my girlfriends, at home, on the couch, with a cuppa, but now that I fully embrace my introvert status, I finally feel like I can say this out loud. Unapologetically.
For years, I thought I was just a bad friend. The kind who feels instant relief when a “can we reschedule?” text appears on my phone. But over time, I realised something. It’s actual science! Introverts recharge by being alone, and frankly, some of my best days have been spent pottering in my own existence, refilling my cup, and having the time and quiet to reset and recharge in ways that social burnout never could.
The emotional rollercoaster of cancelling plans
This internal struggle happens every time:
- Accept an invite, full of optimism and main-character energy
- Get closer to the date and start regretting everything
- Overthink excuses in my head that won’t make me sound like the worst friend on earth
- Stress about cancelling
- After much internal debate, finally cancel
- Instantly feel lighter and swear I’ll be better next time. Even though we all know how this ends
- Repeat forever.
FOMO vs. JOMO: Why missing out is actually good for you
You’ve heard of FOMO, right? Fear of missing out. A term that, let’s be honest, was probably invented by an extrovert. That’s why it’s time to give JOMO the recognition it truly deserves. First coined by blogger Anil Dash in 2012, the joy of missing out is that glorious feeling of knowing you’re at home, in your comfy clothes, ignoring the world, and loving every second of recharging your soul with the disconnect.
Want to know where you sit on the introvert scale?
If you’ve ever wondered just how much of an introvert you really are, taking a personality test might just confirm what you already suspect. I took the free test over at 16Personalities and discovered I’m an ISFP, and let me tell you, the results were spot on. It gave me a good insight into myself, reinforcing not just how much I thrive in my own space, but also many other aspects of my personality. Sure, you can pay to unlock the full report, but the free version has so many valuable insights.
If you’re curious about your own personality traits, give it a go. It’s surprisingly insightful, and who knows? It might just explain why cancelling plans brings you relief too.
Embracing introversion and letting go of guilt
Looking back, I wish I had known about introversion as a kid. For years, I believed there was something wrong with me, constantly questioning why I felt this way. Really, I just needed time to myself. So, to my fellow introverts: I see you, I understand you, and if you ever cancel on me… no hard feelings. I was probably hoping you would anyway.
Disclaimer: I do not advocate cancelling plans on the actual day of an event, common courtesy, people. We are introverts, not monsters.
